Bucking and Screaming

Ok, so I think I am about to make myself look like a total "____"
Fill in the blank, because every word I think of to fill it will make me look even worse than I'm about to...
 

I met with my sponsor and he tells me that he wants me to not share at AA meetings for one month....I should practice listening and get a different perspective. He tells me it has to do with humility. 

I then proceeded to do... what he calls, "Bucking and Screaming". I merely wanted to point out that I realize I am quite outgoing...I usually have a lot to say...I don't care who you are, if I don't agree with you or like what you are saying, I will let you know...I am also becoming more comfortable with who I am and what I have to offer as a human being.

None of that sounds bad to me. But, apparently, I am prideful and think too much of myself. I suppose I am afraid that people will try to change me and make me conform to something that they find acceptable or makes them comfortable.

I can see that these may be defense mechanisms. And, with defense mechanisms up, it is not possible to be completely surrendered and willing.
 

I believe that true humility is agreeing with how God sees me...not more, that would be prideful. ...not less, that would be false humility...still pride.
 

God, help me to see me how you see me and help me to agree with it and behave accordingly. That's all I know to do for now.