With the help of a professional counselor, I discovered that I had, over time, developed two different ways of being: Hidden Me & Front Man Me. Front Man Me was the one everyone saw in church, the one I felt was pleasing to God, the one I saw as having all of the talents, ability and spiritual insight. Hidden Me was the one that had fun, relaxed and acted authentically, was bold and exciting.
It felt like there were two different people inside me and I couldn't survive with just one or the other. With Front Man Me, alone, I would experience a life celebrated by those around me, but be miserable inside. With Hidden Me, alone, I would be ostracized by God and church, but would be free to be authentic.
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT...
But, that's not what God thought. I was offered the idea that God made me to be a whole person, walking in purpose, peace and ability...and I could be loved by God...could love myself...could love another person...could be loved by another. I was offered the idea that some of the parts of me I relegated to Hidden Me, were buried from shame, not God's conviction...I could be real, have fun, relax and live from where I am - not where I thought I should be or where I thought you wanted me to be.
Out of this discovery, came a statement of my identity. I printed this out and framed it...and it stays on my night stand. I look at it constantly.
Jeff's True Identity:
Because I am loved, valued and accepted, I am free to be real, authentic and open. I am secure and content and at rest knowing God's redemptive plan is working in me. Through healing, I am maturing, becoming whole, learning self-love and discipline. I have the mind of Christ and God's perspective, which allows me to be Holy Spirit led, trusting, discerning and understanding. Because I know who I am, I am steadfast, rock strong and confident. Because I am God agreeing and loving, I am appropriate, benevolent, walk in true humility, have a servant's heart and value others. I am a passionate leader, full of purpose, and an encourager to others, who can lean on me. I am a joy and bring joy to others. Because I am an heir and a son, I have constant provision, live a victorious life and walk in divine health, knowing I am held by a loving Father.
Beautiful, you got this, and remember the "Greater One" lives on the inside of you.
ReplyDelete